


Robert Small has the Object Permanence of a Toddler

by flamingbunnies



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Amatuer vampire hunting, Gen, as in they stake (haha get it) out Damiens house, doesnt realize that its damien, robert thinks theres a vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 20:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11676753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamingbunnies/pseuds/flamingbunnies
Summary: There's a new vampire in town. Robert doesn't know what he's up to, but with the help of the new cute volunteer at the shelter, they'll get him before he gets the neighbors.Damien is the new guy in town and is somehow roped into hunting himself.Mary thinks the whole situation is hilarious.





	Robert Small has the Object Permanence of a Toddler

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo so this is my first fanfic on AO3 and also the first that I've published in about ten years, so the writing might not be that great. It's unbeta'd but I hope you all enjoy this little story. I had tons of fun writing it. :)  
> Also I'm super new to the formatting thing on this website as I'm an old lady who's used to ffn where I could just upload it, so if the formatting is weird and gross, I apologize.

The first time that Robert met Damien was at the animal shelter. He was visiting Mary to give a quick update on the small Boston terrier she all but forced him to adopt. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but Betsy really did make him feel less lonely.It was Damien he had seen first when he walked in; glasses slightly tipped forward while a small wisp of hair escaped his ponytail. Robert hadn’t seen him around before, maybe he was the new neighbor who had bought the empty house in the cul de sac? Or maybe he lived further out and only came to this part of maple bay to volunteer. All in all he was a pretty cute guy. Robert pushed this thought to the back of his mind for now and started to ask for Mary when she came in from the back room.As they were leaving, Robert snuck one last peek at the very cute in a nerd way volunteer. He should visit the shelter more often.

The next time he ran into Damien was when he out buying some food for dinner (potato chips were a perfectly healthy dinner, honest). It looked as though Damien was also shopping for dinner, though his seemed to be a more complete meal with rice, tofu, and several vegetables in his basket. His hair in the same ponytail as the other day, twiddling with the one loose strand as he contemplated the soy sauce section. He looked up and saw Robert staring. Robert gave a small wave and a half smile before turning towards the dip options. If he was in this grocery store than he must live near by right?

It was another several days before he saw Damien again. He had been busy watching the newest member of the cul de sac. The once normal white fenced house was slowly turning into a nightmare mansion. He had only caught glimpses of the owner but he was wearing a cloak. A goddamn cloak. In the middle of August. There was obviously something weird with this guy. So Robert did what he did best. He sat in his truck and watched the house until he fell asleep. As far as he could tell, the owner never left the house during the day. This only meant one thing in Roberts brain: the new guy was obviously a vampire. He needed to tell Mary right away.

That’s when he ran into Damien again. It was rather late in the evening so Mary had already left the shelter, leaving Damien to lock up. Robert caught him just before he got into his car to leave. He needed someone to talk to and if Mary was back at he pretending to be a good wife, then Damien would have to do.

“Hey come grab a coffee with me, yeah? I need someone to bounce an idea off, but I don’t normally talk to people so you’ll have to do”

Not waiting for a response, Robert dragged a stuttering Damien to the coffee shop across the street. Once inside, with coffee ordered Robert told Damien about his theory.

“There’s a vampire living amongst us in this very town Damien and we must expose him for what he is before he harms anyone. I’ve got a vampire hunting kit that I’ve handcrafted so I’m sure we can handle him.” Damien had his coffee cup halfway to his mouth before stopping and looking at Robert incredulously. Robert continued his rant for a few more minutes before looking at Damien for affirmation.

“So…uh… How exactly do you know this gentleman is a vampire?” Damien asked nervously. Vampire and pretty much anything out of a horror movie terrified him and the thought of actively looking for them made him anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you myself. The guy only leaves his house at night and I’ve caught him going to the graveyard. His kid is pretty scary looking too.” With this Robert stood up and grabbed Damien again, rushing out of the coffee shop and back over to the shelter to grab his truck. Couldn’t have a stakeout without his truck.

They drive back to the cul de sac and park in his driveway. Robert moved to hide in his bushes, looking through to the house on the other side. All the lights were off save for one on the upper level. The creepy teen could be seen doing… something. Probably something about the dark arts. Robert looked over to Damien who had crouched down beside him. His face a mask of quizzical interest.  
“What are we doing here?” Damien finally got up the courage to ask.

“That’s his house. You’ll see. He only come out after the sun sets. And he’s always wearing a cape. Even though it’s August.” Damien looked Robert up and down taking note of the red sweater under the leather jacket. Perfect summer attire.

Damien was still baffled. Robert really had no idea that he was the supposed vampire. Even though he waved when he saw him staring at his front door the last couple days. Or when he ran into him and Betsy at the graveyard. though this answered why Robert had been glaring at him. Damien was on the fence about breaking the illusion or just going along for the ride.

They ended up sitting in the bushes for half the night before Robert called it quits. “Must be his night off of spooky vampire stuff. We’ll get him later. Did you need a ride home?” Damien shook his head before answering, “No it’s alright. I live close by and I am usually out around this time.”

If Robert thought that was strange, he didn’t comment on it. They both stood, Robert heading towards his house while Damien walked out of the cul de sac before waiting for Robert to enter his house so that he could sneak back into his abode. The next day Damien was seriously considering skipping volunteering today as he was still pretty tired from the previous evenings escapades. However, he also wanted to her Mary’s opinion about his situation with Robert. She was close to him, maybe she would have some helpful insight.

“Dames, you look like shit.” Mary was as blunt as usual, but sometimes that’s what you needed. “Seriously, you have like twigs in your hair, what’s that all about?” Her blunt demeanor had changed to actual caring as she reached over to Pat his shoulder and pull a small twig from his haphazard ponytail.

Damien heaved a sigh, “Robert took me out vampire hunting last night. I didn’t sleep much after” Mary instead of looking symapthetic like a good friend looked amused. Traitor. “So who’s the vampire? Anybody we know?” Mary asked as though she didn’t already know. “Robert does not recognize me outside of my work outfit. He believes that I am a vampire.” Mary started laughing so hard she was doubled over.

Damien huffed, not as amused as Mary was at his predicament. “I was hoping you’d be able to help me remedy this situation. I do find Robert rather interesting, but I was hoping he’d accept all parts of me” Damien shifted a bit clutching his arm. Mary immediately sobered up. Time to get Robert to stop being an ass and recognize that her Dames was not a vampire.

“Okay here’s what we do…” Mary started in on an elaborate plan that involved Robert and Damien exchanging phone numbers, and a neighborhood wide barbeque. Damien could not see any correlation between these two, but he trusted Mary.

A week later and two more vampire stalkings with Robert later, Damien had his phone number and was getting dressed in his preferred clothes in order to attend the barbeque. He was really uncomfortable wearing what everyone else called normal everyday attire and was amused by the fact the Robert still had not come to realize that Damien was the same person as the “vampire” that they were hunting. He yelled over to Lucien that he was heading out and that he was still invited if he so desired. He heard a groan from the teen, but he knew Lucien would show up. After all there was free food and a chance at seeing fire.

He grabbed the tray of vegetables and hummus dip before heading over to the Christiansen backyard. He still wasn’t sure what Mary had planned, but was excited to see where the day was taking him. He walked around to the back of Mary’s house and saw that almost everyone else from the cul de sac was already there. He set his veggie tray down near the many bags of chips before going over to talk to a few of the neighbors. He was still rather new to the town, but everyone was pretty friendly, not even to point out his admittedly rather odd outfit, just to ask about his son and how he was settling in.

Then Robert showed up, talking to Mary at first before glancing around the backyard at the rest of the party goers. He spotted Damien who gave him a shy wave. Robert immediately turned around and stalked towards the house. Damien looked at Mary who just shrugged nonchalantly. He watched Robert as he stood near the porch and pulled out his phone. After a couple seconds, his own phone started to ring.

Quickly digging it out of his breast pocket, he checked to make sure he was not being called into work. He was surprised when he saw that it was in fact Robert calling. Glancing back over to Robert he sees him sneaking glances back at him. He taps the answer call button on his phone and before he can even get a hello out Robert is talking.

“Damien, you gotta get over here. I’m at a barbeque at Mary’s house and the vampire is here! I don’t know how the hell he’s not burning to ash and dust but that’s not what’s important right now.” He was rambling, which was kind of cute, but Damien believed now was the time to pull his reveal.

“Oh! I’m also at the barbeque! Though I don’t see the vampire. I see you though, so maybe I can see it from where you’re standing, hold on a minute.”

With that he hangs up and walks over to behind Robert. And whispered, “So where’s this vampire?”

Robert jumped about three feet in the air and reached to grab what Damien assumed was one of his carving knives, before putting the picture together. Mary having been watching the whole time, was giggling behind her hand. Robert glared at her before turning back to Damien.

“So..uh... guessing you’re not a vampire,” He rubbed his hair sheepishly before putting his hands on his hips.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me? We’ve been sitting outside your house for hours waiting for you to come out,”

Damien hummed a but before replying, “I didn’t want to shatter the illusion. I enjoyed your company as well. To be fair, I did try to wave and talk to you when I was walking in the graveyard, but you didn’t recognize me. I’m amazed, as the only people who see me outside of this attire are the people at my job and Mary. And you.” He smiled a bit before continuing.  
“I hope this doesn’t put any ill harm towards our relationship, as I really did spending time with you. You have the most exquisite carving skills.”

Robert smiled before putting an arm over Damien’s shoulder, “As long as you promise not to suck my blood we’re good. Though I won’t say no to a couple of teeth on my neck. What do you say we go grab a cup of coffee over at the shop?”

Damien blushed at the implication of some of Robert’s words, but nodded at the invitation to coffee. It would be nice actually talking one on one with Robert about things other than hunting himself. They said their good byes to the neighbors and waved at Mary before departing.

Damien thought that there would be a little animosity between Robert and himself, but Robert took his new appearance in stride and even giggled at thinking back to some of the moments the two had shared over the past couple of weeks. He really was blind sometimes.


End file.
